As moms, we don’t intentionally get in over our heads. It just happens sometimes. Especially during the holidays, we want to make everything wonderful and memorable for our families.

And somewhere along the way, expectations of society, and comparisons of how mom friends do things, can start to make December get a little out of hand.

It’s not just that though, you see, the internet certainly doesn’t help, nor the constant access to reality tv, Christmas movies, or the exaggerated display of Christmas items all over the stores beginning in October.

However, at a certain point, one has to determine whether or not these expectations, and the pressures that they bring, are healthy and or even necessary.

If this resonates with you, maybe you need to know that it’s okay to crumple up the list. It’s also okay to edit back intentions, or change them altogether.

I will never claim to know it all, but there is something I do want to share- something I’ve learned the hard way.

If the pressure to stay up late to surprise the kids with ALL THE (Christmas) THINGS is compromising your patience or your health; choose sleep.  

If running around to a thousand stores is stealing precious time; Amazon your list this year.  

If going broke is a consequence of giving; simplify, and refocus on the reason for the season.  

If you’re stressing and obsessing over images you’ve seen online, in an attempt to make your home, holiday gathering, or gift packaging Pinterest perfect; remember it’s the thought that counts.  

If decorating cookies with the kids is an item on the list to hurry up, and cross off; skip it.  

If you’re so stressed that you forget to stop and talk to your kids about life, or memorize the smiles on their faces, or you’re failing to be in the moment; something has got to give.

Further, if you have entirely lost sight of the reason we celebrate Christmas in the first place, it may be time to make some changes.

1. Elf on the Shelf.

2. Chocolate Advent calendars.

3. Outdoor family portraits.

4. Holiday studio portraits.

5. Matching pajamas for the kids, or the whole family.

6. Printed photo Christmas cards.

7. Any kind of Christmas cards.

8. 20 different kinds of Christmas cookies.

9. Watching ALL the classic Christmas movies.

10. Making ALL the crafts.

11. Breaking the bank on gifts.

12. Breaking the bank on Christmas outfits.

13. Participating in ALL the gift exchanges.

14. Attending ALL the parties.

15. Getting the fancy, expensive Santa Clause portrait experience.

16. Following Christmas trends from the internet.

17. Decorating a gingerbread house.

18. Preparing a large feast.

19. Decorating an Instagram worthy Christmas tree.

20. Making Pinterest perfect teacher gifts.

21. Documenting every moment during the holidays on social media.

If any of these 21 things are causing you stress this month, or maybe you have your own list items, listen up…you have the freedom to let it go.

When “the most wonderful time of the year”, is instead, “the most stressful time of the year”, it’s time to make a change.

Infact, you have the agency to say, “no”, “not this year”, or “never again”.

I’m not here to say that I do Christmas better, because I’m not perfect. I have put myself out there many Christmases, overdoing it with the best of them, only to be totally burnt out by Christmas morning. 

For several years, I even felt dread as the months inched closer to December. The fast- paced, long list of things to accomplish in such a short amount of time, isn’t actually any fun.

• The rushing

• The stress

• The parties

• The expenses

All of those things, on top of all the other things in life, that actually do not just stop because it’s Christmas time, can leave a mom feeling burnt out.

You know what I’m saying, right?  Do we as moms really want to dread the holidays?

However, if December does not stress you out, and it’s your most favorite time of year, partly because of all the things you get to do, then this post is most likely not for you. Likewise, if you’ve already figured out how to make December calm and restful, you may not find much help in this post at all.

But if the Christmas trends of the interwebs are making you feel inadequate as a mom, throw away the list. 

If your Pinterest or Instagram account is causing you to set ridiculously high expectations, ultimately leaving you to feel guilty or hard on yourself; step away from the social media. 

If your budget is bursting at the seams, or has already spewed over into savings or onto credit cards, and you’re not sure how or when you’ll pay them off; edit it down now!  

If Christmas is causing you stress, or sleepless nights, then you might want to take a serious look at how you’re doing it. I know I have.

In fact, I’ve edited it back a lot over the last few years. So much so, that the Decembers of today, aren’t recognizable when I compare them to the Decembers I had as a young mom.

While much of it was conviction from the Holy Spirit, I also just knew that something had to give. Personally, I eventually felt more called to lean into Advent, and less into the traditions of my childhood Christmases.

The truth is, we’re all just moms who love our kids, wanting to give them the very best memories to look back on one day. 

But I promise you this, they will not remember the lists we made. Nor will they remember what room the elf was hiding in on the 12^th day of Christmas, 18 years ago.  

They won’t remember all the crafts, or every activity that we managed to cram into our schedules, in order to check things off the list.

They won’t remember every little thing that you thought needed to be done, to make their December, and their Christmas the best.  

There is however a very good chance that what they will remember, is how December made Mom crabby, tired and stressed every single year.

A little self reflection never hurt anyone, so if this resonates with you, today is the best day to start over-we’ve all needed to from time to time.

This isn’t about shame, but rather, about considering what is causing chaos in your life. In doing so, you will have more capacity to instead lean into rest, this time of year.

And truly, kids tend to remember the things that we don’t anticipate, above anything else. Perhaps looking back on your own childhood will prove this.

It’s the way the house felt warm and toasty, after coming in from rolling around in the snow. And how mom greeted you at the door with hot chocolate, and warm hugs. 

Or how delicious the canned tomato soup tasted, as it dripped all over the grilled cheese, the night she was secretly too tired to accomplish anything more. 

Sometimes it’s really just the little things that mean the most.

So, if you…

• feel exhausted

• don’t want to be hard on yourself any longer

• are done with the added expectations
• are longing for the simple Decembers of your childhood

Then listen in, because when “the most wonderful time of the year, is instead “the most stressful time of the year”, you don’t have to do ALL THE THINGS.

Repeat after me…

“I don’t have to do ALL THE THINGS”.

Feels good, right?

And if you are really wanting to make a change, but don’t know where to start-pray about it.

Ask God to reveal to you the meaning of Christmas. Ask him for wisdom in what to let go of, and what to keep.

He will guide you, yes, even in this.

Then, sit back, put up your feet, and enjoy a nice marshmallow-ey cup of hot chocolate, or your favorite cup of tea or coffee, or whatever it is that you enjoy.

You deserve it, wonderful mom!

Merry Christmas!