To The Woman Burying Her Sexual Trauma

I know how you feel. Something happened to you that is so bad, you have to bury it down to survive. 

I know how you feel. You cannot face the reality of what you’ve suffered, because you’ve worked so hard to just get through the day without the memories creeping back in. 

I know how you feel. You’re worried that if you face the trauma, you’ll suffer it all over again, as if it just happened, and you can’t go back there.

I know how you feel. You’ve taken on shame because of what someone else did to you, so now you’re ashamed of what has become your secret hell.

I know how you feel. You’ve lost your way and your identity, so you wander through life, suffering without real purpose. 

I know how you feel. You were made to feel worthless when you were betrayed, so now you carry that down to your core, believing that you are indeed worthless. 

I know how you feel. Because someone mistreated your body in the worst way, you struggle to value and take care of it, even after all these years.

I know how you feel. Self destructing is easier than healing. 

I know how you feel. It’s easier to eat away, drink away, sleep away, harm away, numb away, or shop away the memories and the pain, than it is to process them in therapy. 

I know how you feel. To face the trauma would mean addressing how others should have protected and fought for you, when they did the opposite of what was right.

I know how you feel. Pretending that you’re strong on your own is easier than surrendering to God.

I know how you feel. You’ve been betrayed, by adults, and by the one who harmed you, so it’s easy to believe that God betrayed you too.

I know how you feel. Trusting anyone sometimes feels impossible. 

I know how you feel. Alone in your trauma, like the only person in the world to have faced it. 

I know how you feel….

Stuck

Numb

Tired

Angry

Afraid

Alone

Ya, I know how you feel, but I didn’t want to stay there, a prisoner of my trauma. 

I wanted to know what real freedom felt like, and now I know. 

Don’t you want to know how it feels too?

You can! You too can be set free! 

 

Yes, the journey to the other side is scary, but it is possible. It takes work to get beyond hard, destructive trauma, but you won’t have to do it alone.

And are you really even living, or is the burying of your trauma taking all the life and potential out of you? 

If you’re ready to trade oppressed life for abundant life…

If you’re ready to break through the chains that hold you captive…

If you’re ready to abandon the shame that weighs you down…

If you’re ready to stop burying your sexual trauma….

You can start by praying for:

…God to set you free from the trauma; mind, body, and spirit. 

…God to release you from the depression, anxiety, and PTSD that entangle your life because of your trauma.

…God to forgive you for the addictions that have formed due to your trauma. Whether it’s addiction to food, alcohol, drugs, sex, porn, spending, self harm, or something else, ask Him to set you free, and give you the strength and courage to not only heal from it, but to not give into temptation. 

…God to guide you to the right Christian therapist, who will not only make you feel comfortable, but who is also experienced in sexual trauma work.

…God to give you the strength and courage to be open and honest with your therapist, so that you can get to the bottom of the trauma, and begin to truly heal from it.

…God to help you forgive the unforgivable.

Perhaps you’re not already walking with Jesus, and you’re not sure you want to. My question for you is this; what have you got to lose? 

You’re tired of the bondage, aren’t you? You want freedom, right? 

Freedom is for you too, sister, but you can’t truly get there apart from Christ. I know, because I tried. 

Oh, if I had only surrendered the pain to God years earlier, how much sorrow and suffering I could have avoided. I want you to avoid it too!

If you want freedom, but haven’t asked Jesus into your heart, here’s a simple prayer:

Dear Jesus,

My trauma has made it hard for me to walk with you in the past, but today I surrender my life to you. I no longer want to suffer in my pain, and I no longer want to try and handle it on my own. Please forgive me for trying to do all things apart from you, and in my own strength. I acknowledge my sin, and ask for your forgiveness. Today I accept you as my Lord and Savior, and ask you to come into my heart. Thank you for giving up your life for me, so that I may have life. Please lead me through the healing process, and help me to know I’m not alone. Help me to trust you and know you more.

Amen

Surrendering our life, our pain and our trauma to the Lord, is the first step in truly healing. He will transform you in ways that only He can. 

If you’re the woman burying her sexual trauma, I don’t know your story, but I do know how you feel, to an extent, because I too have a story of sexual trauma.

More importantly however, God knows how you feel. In fact, if your journey to healing is anything like mine was, you may even come to realize that He’s been with you all along, yes, even through the worst moments of your life.

If you’re the woman burying her sexual trauma, be encouraged that healing is near.

You won’t feel…

Stuck

Numb

Tired

Angry

Afraid

Alone

…Forever.

Just hang on, lean into God, and know that you are not alone. 

 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.  Romans 15:13

Come to me, all you are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.  Matthew 11:28-30

Therefore Jesus said again, “I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All whoever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  John 10:7-10

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breast-plate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.  Ephesians 6:10-18

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 3:4-9

Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts him. Rejoice in the Lord, and be glad, you righteous, sing, all you who are upright in heart!”   

Psalm 32:6-11

Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence. I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.  Psalm 27:10-14

The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in times of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him. Psalm 37:39-40

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. John 3:16-18

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36